you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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