so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
