How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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