When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
