We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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