what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
