I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pappa wants mamma naked
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
