so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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