Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Quick, to the slutcave!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
