i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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