When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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