oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
