My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize