naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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