I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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