I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
