Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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