dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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