i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
