i just google imaged poop.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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