he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
