my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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