Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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