i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
