So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize