The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
