Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
