Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
