Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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