def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
