I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
