Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
