Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
