he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
