she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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