Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize