your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
