Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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