happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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