I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
