I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
