I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
