Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
