dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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