i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
