Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
