I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize