it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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