discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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