we have pet lesbian snakes
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
