Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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