dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
