if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
