dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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