We're facebook friends in real life
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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